People who are mature will understand that trust must be earned, and in times of difficulty, especially when there has been bad blood in the past leading to mistrust of others with many memories of mistreatment or other grievances resulting from past encounters, one is in the situation, in effect, of not only starting over but starting over under the worst of circumstances when there is already an established prejudice working against them. So this is what is reflected in this statement of the intent to "trust, but verify;" it at once is forward-looking and optimistic, signaling a willingness to accept a person at face value, but in a provisional way that complete trust must still be earned and therefore the person is put on notice they must perform, they must live up to the trust that is granted at the outset provisionally and continue to demonstrate and prove that the trust in them is well-placed and will be rewarded, and not prove to have been a mistake.
It is a sign of strength when such expectations are present, especially if there is a historical reason for this and past difficulty that has resulted in a poor track record. It is not appropriate to expect instant forgiveness under all circumstances—that again might be a sign of ego or a manipulation underway to make people insensitive to the needs and feelings of others. But if there is maturity and inner wisdom, this will instill confidence and a feeling of strength that is well-deserved, and under those circumstances it is much easier to extend an olive branch and at least a provisional trust to engage in a relationship and an interaction, without fear blocking a step that could lead to a dissolving of tensions and a lowering of risks of conflict that could lead to a calamity.
So there is much wisdom in seeing to one’s needs at the same time one is making a gesture of friendship and acceptance of others through a level of trust that it always requires. The balance point maintains a careful watch on things and the maintenance of vigilance so one will see sooner rather than later if there is a breach of trust putting them at risk. This is not only prudent but will be respected by a potential adversary and a reason to garner respect. Often the recognition of one’s opponent as a worthy adversary can become a motivation to make a friend of them rather than to keep them as an enemy, so this attitude of "trust, but verify" can build a bridge between enemies that leads to much forward progress in improving things.
Please login or Register to submit your answer