Your question describes the conundrum quite nicely. Does it make sense if you wish to communicate with someone, to tune them out, to not think about them, but instead focus on the breath, focus on a candle flame, focus on attempting to not think? This is a prescription to have nothing happen other than relaxation. It can be a way to destress, but not a way to facilitate and foster a communication, especially a dialogue. There is a basic misunderstanding with this exercise. The purpose of the instructions for meditation are to simply quiet the conscious mind enough for the subconscious to step forward and take a more active role because that is the gateway to the intuitive channel that is needed for psychic perceptions of all kinds, as well as spirit communication at whatever level one is attempting. The ability to look upward with the mind is a product of intention. That needs to be the focus of the session, not a ritual designed to disconnect the person from the outer world entirely. That degree of disconnection shuts down every line of communication—internal as well as external.
The description needed for conducting prayer is the ideal way to commence a divine communication, including a spirit communication with a loved one in the light or an angelic being or guardian or guide you wish to approach with your thoughts. There is a method to the description that has been described and followed quite closely through the millennia. To first of all close the eyes, that reduces a tremendous sensory input that demands attention and will inevitably be a distraction, so it is purposeful and immediately sends the mind into a calmer brainwave state in the alpha range rather than the high beta of conscious thinking and awareness. This facilitates the ability to sense the subtlety of intuitive perception, and any messaging that might be done via the subconscious level of the mind, via the intuitive gateway that exists within everyone.
Holding the hands with palms together will further facilitate the energetic gateway to open and be receptive. There is a misconception that prayer is done best by holding the palms outward or upward in one’s lap. That is the ideal position for sending energy forth, but when you wish to speak to the divine, there is no need for you to expand your energy to reach the divine level. The divine is within you and can hear everything within your thoughts regardless of your physical status. The side of the communication that needs help is your ability to receive incoming information and guidance. Putting the palms together creates a circle of energetic flow that acts like an antenna and helps information come in and be perceived within, in a sense, capturing it for keener awareness and not allowing it to simply flow through and out again. Doing so in a relaxed position is of value as well, so sitting rather than standing, or lying down as opposed to sitting will further relax the mind and favor the deeper levels of consciousness that bring you closer in awareness to the intuitive gateway, although at the risk of falling asleep, but that is something that the individual can experience and make safeguards to sit rather than lie down if that is unavoidable for them.
So there is no single best way for all, but these general guidelines will be universally beneficial. The point of focus needs to be reaching to the divine with one’s intention to address the divine directly by name. This can be done aloud but can be solely within the mind and will work just as well. Speaking aloud increases the power of intention because there needs to be a greater focus to formulate the words, and to state them verbally requires greater time and attention and devotion to the outreach itself rather than a very quick and fleeting thought in saying "hello." So again, this is not a requisite, only a description of how energy is governed and options that are available that can fit some situations but perhaps not others. Doing the process entirely silently is perfectly okay and will be necessary many times when people want privacy.
Focusing on the divine with a direct request to have a dialogue, followed by a pause after you ask to be shown a sign you are being heard will often be rewarded by a sensation, a thought, or a visual signal of some kind depending on how your intuition works. If you have explored this to any degree, you can ask for a sign using that sensory modality whether visual, auditory, or kinesthetic, or a knowing that your "hello" has been heard and is being answered. The highest awareness is in knowings. To get an answer to a question as a knowing of what that answer is in all its important respects, this is the power of intuition, to bring a complete answer about a complex issue all of a piece, not incrementally, and is a powerful demonstration of the mind and its reach and the ability of the divine to truly answer what is asked and be of great value and assistance.
So a focused greeting by name followed by a request and then a pause to allow a sensation to be perceived will develop your apparatus, in the sense of being analogous to building muscles, and this will pay off for many in creating a positive experience of reinforcement and encouragement to keep going, and this will be rewarded over time with improved ability so it can be done at any time and done with confidence. This helps maintain and ensure a good belief quotient and power of intention. There is nothing like success to breed success. It may take practice to bring this about to your satisfaction but will be well worth the investment. This process can be used to gain insight about anything one desires and is the best use of your time compared to simply attempting to have a stillness and quiescence with no particular agenda.
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