At what age does the ego really take hold in a new incarnation? What can parents and caregivers do to help foster the healthy development of their child’s ego?

Parents will likely smile at this answer, having experienced directly the consequences of what we will relate to you about this. The ego is ever-present at the outset and continuing lifelong. That again is purposeful planning because infants need some kind of wherewithal on a lifelong basis to stick up for themselves and handle perceived adversity in an effective way that gets results to save them, literally, from neglect or harm. Acts of crying are often an expression of the ego of an infant reacting to an absence of love by not sending out love to attract more but complaining about it. That works quite effectively because the maternal instincts of the mother, in particular, will be highly developed and expressed to mount a loving outreach to bond with a newly arriving infant and, in fact, most of the time during pregnancy as well, looking forward to the new life that will be coming to join the parents as a family. But, like all attributes, the ego, as with the ability to love and feel loved, while powerful aspects of the soul, can be subjugated and diminished through mistreatment. When infants are traumatized by excessive punishment and criticism, they might suppress their ego out of fear, and that is a kind of damage at some point that will need healing to undo, and if this does not happen they may become a timid and often helpless adult who cannot hold their own and will likely be bullied and picked on along the way, treated as a doormat even by loved ones, and there can be many adverse consequences, not only to have a diminished life of greatly limited opportunity but adverse health conditions that develop, as well as mental and emotional problems, that prevent happiness and drain life of its meaning and potential for growth. So, as we have said, the ego has a prominent role to play. The parents need to help the infant learn moderation and constraint, at least eventually, but even a human infant will respond to love and nurturing, and this will calm things and signal that the ego can stand down for a time because all is well. The life skills needed to reckon with the ego and its power are vitally important for healthy functioning and being a well-balanced, normal human being able to fit in and enjoy the benefits of living with others and gain their love and respect. This is why loving discipline is needed, to keep the ego in a better balance through providing outside pressure as an object lesson to teach the child they must at times give in and not let their aggressive impulses run wild. Spoiling a child is a great disservice, as some parents come to find out the hard way, but everyone has encountered such children and sees the damage it does to them as well as those around them, so this is a vital need and contribution of good parenting to help a child develop in a balanced fashion that will serve them lifelong.