A client asks: “In relation to a channeling about offering healing services, Creator shared … “We recommend that healers be compassionate but not to a fault. Their reach will lessen if they cannot show up to do the healing because they have not nourished or protected themselves, have not seen to their health and well-being, and often times do not have a normal life—which life to have balance, is best done with a partner and the full expression of physicality with a sexual relationship and with parenting of the young. This is a way to grow the self and explore as many possibilities as are available.” In many ways, I feel like I have failed and am a failure because I have not married, had a longer-term partner or had children. Have I failed? And if so – what can I do to remedy this and how do I avoid becoming overwhelmed with sadness and defeat in relation to this feeling of failure?”

The words you cite about the desirable attributes of a well-rounded healer are meant as general advice, and not as an absolute set of criteria for success or accomplishment that would represent acquisition of criteria needed for success in life or serving the divine, as you intend to do with your life. That is an over-interpretation of our words as being an absolute with no allowable variations. If you think about this, there are many lifestyles and many life circumstances where people choose to not marry and, therefore, have no children of their own or are unable to do so for any number of limitations or constraints in other respects. Sometimes, there is a life mission that is incompatible with the long-term distraction and diversion of having a life partner and raising young with the huge demands that will represent on time, energy, and resources. This is often true in difficult historical eras where war is taking place and other extreme circumstances where having children may well be a liability, not only for the parents who are heavily constrained, but for the young as well who will find themselves in harm’s way perhaps and be in over their heads and incur a huge devastating karmic trauma from being caught in the middle of life circumstances beyond their control or that of the parents. So there are many times and places where this general ideal is not served. The current era is one such time with what is possible in having a large-scale time of chaos and catastrophe intended to annihilate humanity within the decade. There are many now who come into life who choose to not take time to have a life partner and especially to not have children because they retain an inner knowing there could be severe challenges and even catastrophe and do not wish to experience it, not only for themselves but having to watch it happen to their offspring to compound the horror and tragedy it would represent. So, as a precaution, many are choosing to forego families and parenting. So you see there are many, many circumstances where this is a wise choice and not a loss or some type of negligence through selfishness or lack of inner strength and the necessary attributes and inclinations to be successful in those endeavors. While there may be karmic predispositions that make this less likely and that has led you to the current circumstances, that is not necessarily a failing at all. There are many things that happen in life causing ups and downs. All have value because all impart wisdom in the doing and the healing in particular. If you are in a current circumstance where parenting or even having a love relationship that is long-term could lead to extra complications because of unfinished karmic business of the past, it may well be a blessing because you may be sidestepping something that could turn into a very difficult series of new traumas to reinforce a prior liability and you may be healing the prior circumstances in all that you do without taking on a situation that could retrigger the circumstances so heavily that you would not be able to do the healing needed to make an advancement. Normally, healing happens through re-experiencing difficulty but surmounting the challenges to do it better in the new incarnation, but sometimes there needs to be an escape, a vacation of a sort from a treadmill existence of coming in, marrying, having children, and then having many difficulties and doing the same thing over and over. There are lives that are a kind of timeout where you have an opportunity to do other things and not have the prior dilemmas come up. This can allow different kinds of seasoning that will, by delaying a need to face the same challenges, help you be more refreshed and come in starting at a higher level on the strength of the timeout life just preceding the new incarnation, to then take on the challenges that were sidestepped and then be more likely to be successful for the healing that was done. You have a combination of agendas here from all of the above so, in your case, it is higher wisdom on display, not at all a failing. You are working on many things, and regaining your equilibrium and self-control is the highest priority in the current life. That would be greatly complicated by having dependents and the entanglement with the karma likely, of prior family members who would bring all of their troubles along with them and it would add greatly to your difficulties. So we would suggest that you simply count your blessings and know that your life is proceeding exactly as it should and is not a product of failing or a series of shortcomings that limit you in some way compared to others. You are simply taking a different tack and that is truly wise and will be quite beneficial for you. So please know you are deeply loved and cherished and all you do will matter. Your life will count and you are doing just fine. The fact there are things you are uncertain about and room for growth is truly in keeping with the fact you are human after all and perfection is not possible for humans at this stage. There is much more to do for your learning and growth because of the free will paradigm you are exploring. The current high-level vibrational beings in other realms you hear about from time to time have a much easier life because they are so intertwined with Creator they have the awareness and knowledge always present of what they need to do in each moment to be in a state of perfection or a near enough equivalent that little is lacking or out of alignment. Despite its majestic circumstances, there are many, many things that will never be experienced and, in some ways, the current exalted existence not fully appreciated through not understanding its lack and what that truly represents. This is the great learning and gift of starting as a physical being in the way you have taken on, and then even the difficulty meeting up with opposing forces that are quite dark and wanting to manipulate and degrade you. This is plenty to wrestle with for anyone and will ultimately add to your stature, so you have nothing to worry about. You are not running behind. You are running with the pack and doing just fine. Keep going and enjoy your life and seek happiness in ways that fulfills you for who you are in the moment. You will be true to yourself in doing that. You need not try to live by other’s standards.