DWQA Questions › Tag: marital relationships
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He asks: “This tension is creating some tension with my wife and I am unsure of how best to support him while not eroding my marriage. What would be the best ways of helping all concerned?” What can we tell him?
ClosedNicola asked 4 months ago • 
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She asks: “Maybe it’s just time to move on and see what’s out there in the world. My husband does nothing to make me feel included. He’s basically zoned out and doesn’t notice anything even when I mention it over and over. Yeah, he’s completely checked out. He claims he loves me and he does many nice things for me but emotionally there’s no one home. Should I start thinking about moving on? Is it time to go? It’s hard to stay in a place where you feel invisible. I mean both families? How can that be a coincidence? Is there something Creator can say to bring light to my very sad and confusing situation?” What can we tell her?
ClosedNicola asked 2 years ago • 
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She asks: “When I was very little, I used to think how great it would be if I had, I don’t know, intuitive knowings, see things others can’t, know things others don’t, understand the nature of this world in a way that most don’t take the time to think about. I thought those things would be cool. Turns out they’re not. Turns out they’re horrible. Turns out it makes for a terrible time trying to blend in with those around me. I don’t mean to sound conceited. I’m not saying I’m all that, I’m not, but I’m not the same either. I’m different, and I hate that because It’s getting harder and harder to fake it and pretend I don’t notice what I noticed, and pretend that I’m not who I am, if that even makes sense. I don’t even know how to “turn it off.” I am feeling like such a weirdo. Will I ever fit in anywhere? I have the best intentions. I don’t have hidden agendas. I really want everybody to make it and I’m genuinely happy when good things happen to other people. Why does it have to be so hard?” What can we tell her?
ClosedNicola asked 2 years ago • 
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Dr. Viktor Frankl wrote that in his opinion, it was possible to “lie with the truth.” He cited as an example a man who came to him plagued with guilt about an illicit affair he had some 20 years earlier. His wife never learned of it and was still ignorant of it when he sought Frankl’s advice. Dr. Frankl implored him NOT to tell her. His reason for doing so was because he believed that the man truly loved his wife and had no desire to traumatize her. Based on what he knew of the man’s wife, he was convinced that there was little to no chance of the wife receiving the news without drawing the false conclusion that he did not love her, and consequently would not be able to forgive him. So he attempted to coach the man, that telling her the truth, would be akin to lying, for it would encourage her to believe a lie—that her husband did not ever love her. The man ignored Frankl’s advice, and the result was an ugly divorce with both parties deeply emotionally traumatized. Was Frankl right? What is Creator’s perspective?
ClosedNicola asked 2 years ago • 
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The problem with everyday irrational behavior, especially when there are agendas working at cross purposes, is that it can lead to even bigger problems if left unchecked—perhaps even resulting in trauma worse than the original insult creating the behavior to begin with. As an example, perhaps the spouse wakes up one day, decides they have had enough, and ends the marriage. How can people realize they have to push back against their own irrationality (and not wait for others to do it)?
ClosedNicola asked 4 years ago • 
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