The father asks: “All through her young life, she was into girl things, but the last year has been a complete transformation and that’s why it’s shocking to me and my family. Is this a test from Creator to test me to see how I deal with this and if I truly show unconditional love?”

This is not being arranged by Creator as a test, or for any other purpose, but life itself becomes a test, in a sense, for each person in how they cope, how they handle things, and use what is disturbing as an impetus to act in a way that will be productive and helpful, and not compound the problem if handled in the highest and best way. So in that sense, it is a test for you in maintaining your inner balance to keep the love going and avoid any harsh recriminations based on your inner misgivings. Having concern for her and her welfare is perfectly understandable for a loving parent in this kind of situation, as you rightly fear what might happen if her life is unduly complicated. If you read up on the issue, you will find that it is not at all uncommon for gender variability to be experienced, but in most cases, it resolves itself to be in alignment with the biologic gender and the problem goes away. In her case, it is too soon to know exactly how things will work out, but we would encourage patience and watchful waiting, to be calm and accepting so you can be available to her if she needs to talk about what she is experiencing and has concerns. Imposing your expectations and frightening her with descriptions of how a gender mismatch can become a burden and prevent happiness, and so on, would constitute a kind of trauma being inflicted. She will find out for herself how the world views such things. Any negativity or perceived judgment from you could be quite harmful and devastating to her self-esteem and could be seen as a breach of trust and rejection of her, and that would work against the interests of all involved. You cannot make her be any particular way. The important thing is that she not learn to judge herself in a negative fashion because of what she is experiencing. So knowing that sometimes it takes a while for young people to sort things out in deciding who they truly are and the way they feel inside, and that could be very reassuring for her. In any event, that is what will happen and she will see to eventually.