A viewer asks: “Why is my 24-year-old stepson so avoidant of the world and anxious about finding a job or seeking opportunities to have wider experiences? Would sympathy and understanding be helpful, or more insistence that he put more effort in?” What is Creator’s perspective?

We would say the prescription here calls for support and encouragement, meaning loving acceptance and nurturing, but also recognition he will need to move forward on his own in whatever way he can because no one can take those steps for him. But there are positive and negative ways to give encouragement. Some people view it as needing a carrot and some people view it as needing a stick. We favor the carrot over the stick, but the implementation of the lure can be done with firmness, if need be, so there is some pressure applied and perceived by the recipient. The artful part is doing so without undermining him and his confidence. That is a judgment call. The important thing to keep in mind is no one can see into another and know their internal struggle and level of suffering and that is why judgment is never called for, because you are not walking in his shoes and cannot know what he is facing. Keep in mind as well that it is taking on tough challenges, because one is not yet quite ready, that will eventually bring about growth and successful achievement. In whatever way encouragement can be used to help him keep going through coming to believe in himself, that will result in a successful intervention on his behalf you can feel good about.